I've been praying for guidance but not really listening for answers. I think we often do that - ask God for help in one breath and rush off in the next one to find the answer ourselves. I'm not sure if it's a lack of trust or a lack of patience - or maybe both.
At church a few Sundays ago, I felt convicted that I've allowed myself to become distant with the Man upstairs. My prayers are routine and habit. My Bible reading is non-existent. My reflection time is filled with appointments, chores, and to-do lists.
It's really no wonder I feel restless.
I've slipped off my rock into the sinking sand.
That conviction was answer number one.
Since then, I've started reading the verse-of-the-day on the Bible app on my phone, but I know that reading a verse out of context can be dangerous so I read the entire chapter the verse is picked from each day.
Reading the Word helps me listen. It gives me something to focus on.
Recently, the verse of the day was 1 John 1:9; it's about confessing our sins.
I started reading 1 John, Chapter 1 and I found myself thinking that I may not glean much from it. Not because I don't have any sin to confess, but because I didn't think a chapter on that topic was going to give me the relief I was seeking.
Then I got to verse 4 and answer number two showed up.
That is what is missing: joy.
My writing process and blog posts have become planned, structured, and forced. While original, they imitate. While creative, they duplicate. I publish them and I am left with restlessness, not joy.
John wrote, as I do, to teach, to share, to inspire, to save but also to make his and his readers' joy complete. From today forward, I will write me - what I feel, what I know, what I believe, what I try, what I learn - what makes my joy complete.
~Be open to joy. Be open to answers where you don't expect them.~
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